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Coaching misconception No3 – «I’ve got to be perfect»

The desire to be perfect is quite a scourge that stops us from progressing in our health and wellbeing.

Many clients admit having delayed their « yes » to coaching for this exact reason. Fears show up in many ways: « If I get coached, I’ll never be allowed to cheat anymore », « healthy cooking just looks too complicated, no point starting » or even « starting a coaching programme means giving up on a part of me, becoming a new person once I lose my 5kgs »

Of course I’m the first to have my fears – I’m afraid of making a wrong decision (I take ages to weigh both sides, that’s a real part of me !) and I’m afraid of not being up to standard, of failing and of showing my vulnerabilities.

« Fear of the unknown is absolutely natural but not coming out of our comfort zone limits us in our personal fulfillment »

Coming out of your comfort zone means you will fall… several times

We’re gonna fall, for sure. It’s as guaranteed as a baby will fall hundreds of times when learning to walk. However the baby is so driven by his desire and curiosity AND by his/her unstoppable trust in him/herself that he’ll never say « I’ve fallen three times now so this thing called walking can’t be for me ».

Really, it’s all part of learning a new skill but we are much tougher on ourselves and want success – fast. Being aware that one – failures are part of life and two – every failure has a valuable lesson for us, is really liberating and allows us to continue on towards our big dreams.

Why this inner fear? When growing up we’ve learnt – consciously or unconsciously that to be loved and accepted by our « tribe » we have to be « perfect », whatever that means in their eyes – clever, nice, smart, beautiful… The need to connect to others is deeply wired in us after all. So, how do we free ourselves from these mental chains? Taking up a coaching program can help.

The secret to coaching?

So what does it mean to choose the coaching way when wanting to go towards better health?

It means you’re going to be simultaneously supported with all the empathy and comfort that it entails AND stretched towards your health goals.

When things don’t work out the way you want, yes you will get sympathy from your coach but they will not let a few obstacles stand in the way of your dreams. These obstacles tend to be the recurring ones that stop you from achieving your health objectives. In a society that is bent towards judgement that experience of feeling loved and helped upwards feels just amazing! And it’s this openness and unconditional trust that allows us to grow and to flourish – therefore to go towards happiness.

Freeing oneself from the need to be perfect

Sometimes, « perfect » is not available. So it is best to go for the next best thing rather than not going towards our goal. So in the case of our wellbeing and the food we eat, the transformational coaching I do aims to long-terms results by teaching you to change old habits for new, healthier ones so that they become second-nature.

One of those new habits might be to always have some ingredients on hand for last minute cooking – for example, some lentil-based pasta cooked in 5 minutes with some homemade chimichurri sauce, a quick humus made with whatever beans and nut butter we have at the time (red kidney, white bean? No tahini but some almond or cashew butter? Perfect!)

Some evenings we’ll be glad to just have an omelette and leftover veggies and / or salad…

Even if cooking a Thaï style curry is actually very easy (and the trick is to make enough for at least two if not three meals !) or if making a healthy quinoa pizza only asks to soak quinoa in the morning so that it can be finished in about 20 minutes in the evening (no kidding) by using favourite toppings always on hand (personally that’s artichoke hearts and sundried tomatoes and homemade chimichurri sauce with a few shavings of parmigiano cheese – old enough to no longer have much lactose left in it), some evenings we’ll only have the time and inkling for a mixed salad or a soup.

Fear is in the head

Wanting to be perfect has us compare ourselves to others and believe that « they » do better than us. And if we don’t feel very savvy in the kitchen all those Instagram pictures can be quite intimidating.

Our brain has us believe that it’s all very complicated, that we will not be up to scratch… That’s one of the reasons why I love including some cooking coaching in my programs. And the truth is most clients realise then that the limits were only in their heads. Once they get cooking, they’re always stunned by how easy it actually is. The lessons are highly practical so that they can replicate recipes easily back home.

Even my gluten free quinoa bread, after they’ve done it once, is super easy to make.

« Actually, it’s much easier that I would have thought! » Sophie, cooking coaching

Shortcuts are great too!

Buying one’s veggies at the daily market is one of those dreams many of us have of « the good life ». It’s possible and wonderful sometimes of the week but probably not always – for many, the work and life demands make it a « never » experience. So what do we do? Declare healthy meals are off the radar? I am one of those that that promotes doing one’s best. So, it’s no crime to have some goodies in the freezer – red fruit or branched spinach for example just so you can make a green smoothie at any time. And some handy tins of various beans.

And if we like the idea of making our own sauerkraut but can’t – or won’t, we can always choose to buy it from the organic shop.

Date of my next Learn & Brunch workshop!

My next Learn & Brunch workshop will be on the eve of the Equinox, on 22nd September, 12-15h. So the theme will be timely – how to do a detox at this change of season – what to eat, which recipes, which body care tips… The workshop will take place at Les Huiles, the beautiful essential oil boutique in the Paris 10th arrondissement. All info is on my Events page right here.

Places are limited to 10 participants so think of booking ahead. It’s an unbeatable price: 35€ per person or 30€ each for the Duo offer.

After having prepared some special detox smoothies, you will feast on a delicious brunch and leave with your own ebook, so you can do your detox whenever you are ready.

Next Reset Button Retreat to charge up batteries before the cold season

If you want to take your detox to the next level, you can meet me at the next Reset Button health retreat in Spain from 24 to 30 October. A great way to extend sunshine rays too !

All info is right here on le site Reset Button (en anglais), also in my blog here. And don’t hesitate to contact me on info@mariellealix.com to ask your questions (and to find out my special offers too 🙂

Need personal help to achieve your health goals?

If achieving your health goals seems like an impossible task and you want to be held and helped with each step towards your dreams, then the first step is to book a discovery session. It’s free. We’ll talk about what you’ve tried, how you’d like to feel and I will explain my made-to-measure approach. It’s all about taking small steps, one after the other so you get to feel the difference in your body, not just the head.

Reserve your free discovery session right here

To your feeling and looking amazing naturally!

RECEIVE MY BEST HEALTH TIPS, RECIPES, AND MORE!
To receive tried and tested health tips that you can use immediately to improve your wellbeing, click « Subscribe! » here:

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